I'm 42 and pregnant! 10/22/18

In the last couple of months, I have dreamed of either being pregnant or having had a child, over a dozen times. Just a few nights ago, I had two entirely separate dreams in one night where both occurred; meaning, in one of the dreams I was pregnant, and even said out loud, "I'm 42 and pregnant!" and in the other, I gave birth to a baby girl prematurely. She initially had a lot of health issues but as the dream progressed, she got healthier and stronger. That dream was the strangest of all of the baby dreams I've ever had because it was the first time that I dreamed of having a baby girl. Every single one of my previous dreams of giving birth involved boys. Even in dreams where I was just seeing babies, the babies were boys...

I've spoken before about recurring dreams, and how they have changed over the years depending on what I had going on at the time. I don't believe recurring dreams are coincidences. I believe they are a reflection of where my life is currently and/or a result of my thinking or feelings. This baby theme, however, I'm having trouble deciphering. I cannot get pregnant now, and, if I'm honest, I don't want to have a baby. So what is this about?

I did say in my last post that my lifestyle has changed quite a bit and it's been consistent for three weeks straight, and that I don't even recognize my new thought pattern regarding this lifestyle. Maybe that's what this is about. Maybe my dreams are trying to tell me about a new beginning in my life. Maybe the baby is finally a girl because it represents me finally coming into my new self. Struggling at first, but getting stronger and healthier. I don't know. It'd be cool if that is the case. How 'bout I just proclaim that to be the case? Yes. Consider it proclaimed :).

My husband and I went to look at model homes yesterday to kill some time during our long wait to get into Milk & Honey in Bowie, MD (total waste of money by the way) and we fell in love with one of the houses. When we were done looking at it, the agent asked what we thought about it and we said we liked it. She said it was a great home for couples of all ages, whether starting a new family or retiring. She said it'd be great for kids to run around in. We both blurted out, "Oh no, we're done! Our kids are 24, 19 and 18!" and her eyes grew into saucers in shock at that statement. She said we looked young, like we didn't even have kids yet. That felt pretty cool :). Did I ever tell y'all that when I first got this job two years ago, one of my new co-workers recognized my husband and me from our morning commute on the MARC train, and that she was shocked to find out my age? She said she thought my husband and I were college students LOL! To be fair, my husband and I dress mad bummy and casual, so...it could just be that :).

Today, I'm wearing a new Finger Paints polish I just bought from Sally's yesterday (buy two get one free) as well as a KBShimmer topper that I love with all my heart.

Finger Paints Cosmic Chaos & KBShimmer Take It Or Leaf It
Indoors - office lighting

Finger Paints Cosmic Chaos & KBShimmer Take It Or Leaf It
Indoors - with flash

Cosmic Chaos is way more holographic in the bottle than on the nail as you can see in the flash photo. I'm not happy about that, but it does look good under Take It Or Leaf It. I want to try the topper over a royal blue or a lighter squishier purple in the near future. We'll see.

That's all I have for now...

Until next time, be blessed!

XOXOXO - Jess

Dreams & Other Stuff 10/18/18

When you have nothing to write about but you decide to write anyway...

I had a dream a couple of nights ago that my sister was going to kill me. I've never had a dream like that before - correction: I've had plenty of dreams where someone was trying to chase me down and kill me, but never a sibling. She led me down to this pit in the ground, told me that what was about to happen was going to help me, and told me to lie down. She then proceeded to cut my face - but then she stopped, apologized over and over, and I asked her, "Wait, were you about to KILL ME?!?!" She responded that she was, but couldn't go through with it, and then she ran away crying. I got up and was left with my mouth open, in shock, holding my gashed face, not believing what just happened. Not understanding how I didn't even resist her attempt to kill me. Super weird. 

Several years ago, I dreamed that I killed someone and and hid his body in a dumpster. The whole dream, I felt deep fear and dread at being found out. I was sick to my stomach the entire time and even woke up feeling ill. I have no idea why I killed him either. The dream felt so realistic. I have had a tendency to hold onto guilt for even the small not-great things I've done. I'd be a certifiable mess if I ever killed someone. There's no way I could survive that. I'd have to turn myself in or off myself.

Well that went downhill fast...

I'm 19 days into a new lifestyle change. They say it takes 21 days to make something a habit. Let's see if that's true. I haven't been recognizing some of my thinking recently since beginning the lifestyle. I've been saying things like, "Who even ARE you?" to myself...and it's interesting...

I'm wearing a really lovely polish from Different Dimension called Fortune Favours The Brave. It's SO fall. I also added KBShimmer Take It Or Leaf It to my ring finger. I can't wait to play with this topper some more. 

Different Dimension Fortune Favours The Brave/KBShimmer Take It Or Leaf It

Different Dimension Fortune Favours The Brave/KBShimmer Take It Or Leaf It

Ain't they yummy together? I know.

Lastly, I have to mention two IG accounts that have brought me much happiness lately. One is: TonyBakerComedy, and the other, IAmDulo, is a very new discovery, thanks to my son, Jay Rojas, who absolutely loves to laugh just like his mama :). I Am Dulo does also does what Tony Baker does but with a super heavy Nigerian accent LOL! I love it so much! If you love animal voice-over videos, these guys are the best! 

That is all I have for now.

Until next time, be blessed!

XOXOXO - Jess