Uninspired.
Usually, when I hear that word, it's from the mouths of creators lacking inspiration to create, or from critics referencing something already created. The word popped into my head today and it hit me that it had nothing to do with creating anything. I mean, how could it be, right? I'm literally creating a blog post right now.
Sometimes, I think that deep down, I'm really just a trash person who by the grace of God alone has bursts of inspiration to not behave like a trash person on most days. Today is not one of those days.
You see, I get into these funks sometimes. They don't happen often at all. In fact, I can't quite recall the last time I had one. When I'm in one, however, I don't feel like doing anything: talking, touching or being touched, smiling, or being nice at ALL. It'd really benefit the planet if I'd just go away and hide in a hotel room for the duration of the funk. Alone. In total silence. And just BE funky by my dang self. Thankfully, these funks don't last long - and believe it or not, they don't always happen right before "that time of the month." Coincidentally, however, this one is happening close to that time.
When I'm feeling like this, it takes so much more effort for me to open my mouth to speak at all, let alone to speak kindly. So much extra mental will to do something that's necessary for the benefit of another person's well-being - and I ain't got a lot of mental will to spare in the first place, ya feel me? Hmm...am I being unfair to myself? Would a trash person even bother using what little mental will she has to do something necessary to help someone else, which, by the way, I did twice today for two different people? Ehh. Whatevs.
There's something inside of me, though, I have to admit, that's kind of a bubbly cheerleader...like, all the time. She comes out against my own will sometimes, particularly when I write. I could be feeling like total trash, but my fingers always want to include exclamation marks, smiley faces and XOXOXO's in communications, even when my physical and mental states just don't reflect those tendencies at ALL - like, AT ALL!!! I feel her wanting to come out right now even...what in the world?
I had a new friend tell me last year that I must be an extrovert in email and introvert in person. Wait, the exact words were, "Yeah. So. Would you say you have a split personality: intro in person. Red carpet diva on keyboard?" WOW. I'm afraid she's right. That's exactly right.
I'm going to end this now before I further confuse myself and whoever else is reading this...sigh...
Until next time, be blessed.
XOXOXO - Jess
Friday, January 18, 2019
Friday, January 11, 2019
'member Me? My HAIR!!!
I sure don't.
I've been spending the last few days looking at old YouTube videos of myself to see if I'd be inspired to do them again. At one time, I had really great natural lighting by a window. Plus, I had a table and an easy setup for filming. I just don't have that now. I guess I'm not ready yet.
On another note, I'm currently thinking about chopping all of my hair off. I've cut a significant amount of my hair a couple of times in the last five years, but what I'm thinking about now is even more drastic. I'm thinking about going from 22 inches of hair in some areas...
...down to ONE.
I haven't had such short hair since sixth grade. I had to cut it all off because I'd spent the entire summer leading up to sixth grade at the pool half of every day and out in the sun the other half. My hair was an actual cotton ball. I ended up with a hair cut that looked like Duckie's in Pretty in Pink LOL!
The only exception is that my hair was cut even closer on the sides. I loved using my fingers to pull down my bangs, too. People made fun of me because I did it all the time. Nobody could convince me that I wasn't cool, though LOL! Hey, this was the 80's, okay?!
Just the thought of how much lower maintenance my hair could be is exciting to me...but then if I hate it, my self esteem could go all the way to zero. Someone suggested to me that I get a short hair wig first, but I don't know. The decent ones cost too much and that will eat into my hair cut budget!
I think I'm going to do it...the only issue is actually finding someone in my area who knows how to cut hair like mine...any takers? :)
That's all I have for now.
Until next time, stay blessed!
XOXOXO - Jess
I've been spending the last few days looking at old YouTube videos of myself to see if I'd be inspired to do them again. At one time, I had really great natural lighting by a window. Plus, I had a table and an easy setup for filming. I just don't have that now. I guess I'm not ready yet.
On another note, I'm currently thinking about chopping all of my hair off. I've cut a significant amount of my hair a couple of times in the last five years, but what I'm thinking about now is even more drastic. I'm thinking about going from 22 inches of hair in some areas...
...down to ONE.
I haven't had such short hair since sixth grade. I had to cut it all off because I'd spent the entire summer leading up to sixth grade at the pool half of every day and out in the sun the other half. My hair was an actual cotton ball. I ended up with a hair cut that looked like Duckie's in Pretty in Pink LOL!
The only exception is that my hair was cut even closer on the sides. I loved using my fingers to pull down my bangs, too. People made fun of me because I did it all the time. Nobody could convince me that I wasn't cool, though LOL! Hey, this was the 80's, okay?!
Just the thought of how much lower maintenance my hair could be is exciting to me...but then if I hate it, my self esteem could go all the way to zero. Someone suggested to me that I get a short hair wig first, but I don't know. The decent ones cost too much and that will eat into my hair cut budget!
I think I'm going to do it...the only issue is actually finding someone in my area who knows how to cut hair like mine...any takers? :)
That's all I have for now.
Until next time, stay blessed!
XOXOXO - Jess
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