Today, I watched a video on YouTube titled, Kingdom Solutions To Financial Problems. It was truly life-changing...
This was after watching another video from the YouTube channel, The Financial Diet, on lazy ways to earn money...which was also life changing...7 Extremely Lazy Ways To Make More Money
In a small way, the two videos contradict each other. One promotes hard work and discipline (but mostly money management), the other is talking about, well, lazy ways to earn money. To be fair, the latter video is not meant to show you ways to earn a living, but rather, supplement the income you already make from working.
Anyway, the first video really opened my eyes to the ways in which I've been blocking financial growth, and it's entirely due to how I have mismanaged money. I mean, I've heard this in sermons for years, "How can God trust you with much when you can't handle the little He already gave you?" (or some variation of that), yet it never really clicked in my brain until watching that video. It really solves the mystery of living paycheck to paycheck. I highly recommend it to EVERYONE, Christian or not.
As a result of both videos, I decided to open an investment account today. That's something I've never had the courage to do before...but it's time.
For the last two and a half months, I've been reckless with my spending. Eating out two to three times a DAY, buying clothes, polish and whatnot. In fact, my husband and I added up how much we spent on eating out together in the last 24 days, and the total came to $698. THAT'S IN-FREAKING-SANE!!!!! The state of my financial and physical health have suffered the consequences.
Let's be honest: we have debt. We want to be debt free. So, what we've done is made a pact that when we get the urge to eat out or to buy anything that we really don't need, that we tell each other what it is and the amount, and then put that money toward bettering our finances instead. For example, I wanted to buy the China Glaze OMG collection from eBay...added it to my cart and everything. But instead of going through with the purchase, I put the money toward my new investment account.
I envy grownups who have parents with homes big, loving and welcoming enough to allow them to return should they need a break from huge living expenses. We just spoke to the son of a pastor whose church we were attending who told us that he, his wife and child were moving back home to save money to buy a bigger house for their growing family. What a huge blessing that is! - and smart, too.
People make fun of the Latino culture where there's like 20 people living in a house (exaggerating) but I tell you what, those households tend to never be short on cash. Everyone works and everyone chips in and nobody's broke and nobody's in debt. That has been my experience.
I can't live with a bunch of people because of I'm an introvert and terribly antisocial to boot, but if I had parents I could run home to for help, I absolutely would. The rent and utilities saved would actually make us debt free within a year. It's crazy but it's true...
I want to have that kind of home for my kids in this lifetime. I'd like to have a safe and loving home big enough to take them in if they wanted to return...if I'm honest though, it wouldn't matter the size of the home. If they're law-abiding and working, they're always welcome, whether they have to sleep on the floor, an air mattress - whatever! But I digress.
I really do hope you'll watch both videos if you're having financial problems. They're game-changers.
Until next time, BE BLESSED!
XOXOXO - Jess
Wednesday, July 25, 2018
Friday, July 20, 2018
Unfit For This World
I'm still at work, past quitting time, waiting on something because someone else didn't do what they were supposed to do all day. This always seems to happen on a Friday, too.
As I wait, I thought I'd check in. It's been too long since my last post.
I used to not care about politics, or the news in general, because it's always negative. Correction, there was a time in my life when I was deeply involved in what the news was saying about such and such, but I let it go years ago. However, it's a new day. And I don't like how upset what I'm seeing is making me.
My husband will tell you that one of the things I'm most passionate about is injustice. When things aren't fair, when people aren't held accountable for the things they do that, had someone ELSE done them, they absolutely would have been ripped into about, it IRKS me to no end. When one person is more severely chastised or punished for doing a fraction of what someone else does with absolutely NO consequences, ooh, man. I get fired up!!
It almost sounds childish of me to constantly rant in my own head, "It's not right! It's not fair! If it was such and such you never would have allowed it! When such and such did this y'all went bananas yet THIS GUY does THIS and you're giving him a pass? The HECK?!"
I can't...
I won't...
There were times when I feared death. I didn't understand what the anxiety was about for a long time, but then I meditated on it and realized what it was...the thing is, I'm not fit for this world. Plain and simple. I have these conversations with God about how and when I hope He'll take me. When I go, I want it to be in a way where absolutely no burden is left behind for my family. I want my passing to be financially and logistically easy on them. If I hit the lotto today, God could take me right after the check clears and I'll be happy. But I don't play the lotto, so...what if I did a "So God Can Take Me," Go Fund Me campaign? Would that work? LOL!
I don't mean to sound so dark. I promise there's not a lick of suicidal thinking in me. This world is just so nuts to me. Absolutely nuts. Upsetting. Unfair. EXHAUSTING. I really don't know how anyone can deal with it without a higher power to comfort and rejuvenate them.
That's all I have for now.
Until next time, be blessed!
XOXOXO - Jess
As I wait, I thought I'd check in. It's been too long since my last post.
I used to not care about politics, or the news in general, because it's always negative. Correction, there was a time in my life when I was deeply involved in what the news was saying about such and such, but I let it go years ago. However, it's a new day. And I don't like how upset what I'm seeing is making me.
My husband will tell you that one of the things I'm most passionate about is injustice. When things aren't fair, when people aren't held accountable for the things they do that, had someone ELSE done them, they absolutely would have been ripped into about, it IRKS me to no end. When one person is more severely chastised or punished for doing a fraction of what someone else does with absolutely NO consequences, ooh, man. I get fired up!!
It almost sounds childish of me to constantly rant in my own head, "It's not right! It's not fair! If it was such and such you never would have allowed it! When such and such did this y'all went bananas yet THIS GUY does THIS and you're giving him a pass? The HECK?!"
I can't...
I won't...
There were times when I feared death. I didn't understand what the anxiety was about for a long time, but then I meditated on it and realized what it was...the thing is, I'm not fit for this world. Plain and simple. I have these conversations with God about how and when I hope He'll take me. When I go, I want it to be in a way where absolutely no burden is left behind for my family. I want my passing to be financially and logistically easy on them. If I hit the lotto today, God could take me right after the check clears and I'll be happy. But I don't play the lotto, so...what if I did a "So God Can Take Me," Go Fund Me campaign? Would that work? LOL!
I don't mean to sound so dark. I promise there's not a lick of suicidal thinking in me. This world is just so nuts to me. Absolutely nuts. Upsetting. Unfair. EXHAUSTING. I really don't know how anyone can deal with it without a higher power to comfort and rejuvenate them.
That's all I have for now.
Until next time, be blessed!
XOXOXO - Jess
Wednesday, July 11, 2018
OPI I Just Can't Cope-Acabana & To Be Or Not To Beagle & Mismatched Nail Action 7/11/18
I initially came here to blow off some steam before starting my day. I feel chatty yet I have no idea what I want to say. I just know that writing often calms me, therefore, here I is.
I'm currently wearing a truly stunning yellow from OPI called I Just Can't Cope-Acabana, which my husband selected from a wheel of OPI colors I gave him from which to choose for me. When he chose it, I was slightly disappointed (I don't love yellow), but as I continued looking through my OPI's, I spotted a topper that was gifted to me probably almost four years ago by a lovely lady named Hannah. I'd heard about and had seen the topper on videos but never actually wanted to buy it. It was crazy how hard I fell for this thing when it actually came into my possession though. It really makes a mani look like art! The first time I wore it, it was over a gray polish and that mani was just spectacular! But now look at it over this yellow! I mean, I can't even!!! Also, believe it or not, this is only two coats! The first coat was streaky, but the second went on nicely and evenly enough to stop!
You may or may not know this, but, the nails on my left hand are always longer than the ones on my right. That's because, well, the nails and cuticles on my right hand just don't behave the way the ones on my left do. The ones on my right hand peel more often and they grow way more slowly - probably because they peel more often! Nevertheless, I consciously keep them shorter, even when they are behaving well and growing nicely. I'm right-handed and I need at least one hand that I can work with easily; as a result, I'm probably a lot less careful when using it, too...
You should also know that I have a soft spot in my heart for rounded nails. However, my followers on IG much prefer my nails in the soft square or "squoval" shape, so I've been keeping my nails that shape for a while. I'll admit it's pretty and looks nicer in pictures, but there is something so comforting and nice about the round nail shape to me. Tuesday of last week, I had a thought: I already had somewhat mismatched nails in length, so why not give the nails on my right hand a different shape, too? So that's what I did! People hate it, or just don't prefer it, but I LOVE it. Seriously, it gives me warm fuzzy feelings. I think if I ever get to the point where I quit all social media, I'd keep them rounded. In spite of the fact that even my husband prefers them squoval!
So, there you have evidence of the cuticle mess that is happening to my right hand. It's so difficult to keep those things looking good, so I often resent my own right hand LOL! However, now that her nails are rounded, I love her again, despite her flaws :). To be fair though, this shape is much more sustainable in that it's much harder to break or split nails that are in this shape. Perhaps they'll grow and maybe even stop peeling now that they look like this. We shall see!
Am I the only one out here who likes to keep her nails two different lengths AND shapes?
Until next time, Be Blessed!
XOXOXO - Jess
I'm currently wearing a truly stunning yellow from OPI called I Just Can't Cope-Acabana, which my husband selected from a wheel of OPI colors I gave him from which to choose for me. When he chose it, I was slightly disappointed (I don't love yellow), but as I continued looking through my OPI's, I spotted a topper that was gifted to me probably almost four years ago by a lovely lady named Hannah. I'd heard about and had seen the topper on videos but never actually wanted to buy it. It was crazy how hard I fell for this thing when it actually came into my possession though. It really makes a mani look like art! The first time I wore it, it was over a gray polish and that mani was just spectacular! But now look at it over this yellow! I mean, I can't even!!! Also, believe it or not, this is only two coats! The first coat was streaky, but the second went on nicely and evenly enough to stop!
 |
| OPI I Just Can't Cope-Acabana & To Be Or Not To Beagle - TWO COATS! |
 |
| OPI I Just Can't Cope-Acabana & To Be Or Not To Beagle |
You may or may not know this, but, the nails on my left hand are always longer than the ones on my right. That's because, well, the nails and cuticles on my right hand just don't behave the way the ones on my left do. The ones on my right hand peel more often and they grow way more slowly - probably because they peel more often! Nevertheless, I consciously keep them shorter, even when they are behaving well and growing nicely. I'm right-handed and I need at least one hand that I can work with easily; as a result, I'm probably a lot less careful when using it, too...
You should also know that I have a soft spot in my heart for rounded nails. However, my followers on IG much prefer my nails in the soft square or "squoval" shape, so I've been keeping my nails that shape for a while. I'll admit it's pretty and looks nicer in pictures, but there is something so comforting and nice about the round nail shape to me. Tuesday of last week, I had a thought: I already had somewhat mismatched nails in length, so why not give the nails on my right hand a different shape, too? So that's what I did! People hate it, or just don't prefer it, but I LOVE it. Seriously, it gives me warm fuzzy feelings. I think if I ever get to the point where I quit all social media, I'd keep them rounded. In spite of the fact that even my husband prefers them squoval!
 |
| ROUNDED NAILS! |
So, there you have evidence of the cuticle mess that is happening to my right hand. It's so difficult to keep those things looking good, so I often resent my own right hand LOL! However, now that her nails are rounded, I love her again, despite her flaws :). To be fair though, this shape is much more sustainable in that it's much harder to break or split nails that are in this shape. Perhaps they'll grow and maybe even stop peeling now that they look like this. We shall see!
Am I the only one out here who likes to keep her nails two different lengths AND shapes?
Until next time, Be Blessed!
XOXOXO - Jess
Thursday, July 5, 2018
Dream 7/4/18 - 7/5/18 Cancer, Smoking & Judgment
I had trouble getting any sleep last night, yet somehow I was able to fit a short dream in...
My mom was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery. When I got to her room she looked anxious and tense, her eyes bulging. She kept saying she needed to get home over and over again. I told her she couldn't go home yet because she couldn't be alone while in recovery. She kept insisting that she'd be fine, that she just needed to be home. I sat next to her and tried to calm her down, took her hand and asked her what was going on, and what was the urgency? She finally calmed down a bit and said to me, "I didn't want to tell you that I'm having withdrawal symptoms. I'm sorry." I immediately tried to comfort her and tell her she had nothing to be ashamed of, that it was probably due to the treatments and surgery she underwent, but then it hit me: what I'd just said didn't make any sense - and neither did what she said, at least not to me - and then suddenly I perceived the faintest odor of cigarette smoke. When these thoughts occurred and I smelled the odor, I wasn't quite looking at my mom - but then I did, and then my eyes started to bulge. "You're SMOKING again?! After all of this, you're SMOKING again?!"
Then I woke up.
So much of this dream, I'm sure, is influenced by my waking life because - and, I haven't shared this with you yet - my mom just had a bilateral mastectomy after undergoing several months of intense chemotherapy. She is now cancer free and recovering from the surgery she had just last week. She used to be a smoker, but as far as I know, she hasn't smoked in years.
I've had so many dreams as an adult where I've confronted my mom about hiding bad behavior from me - it's so funny that I have repeated dreams of my mom hiding bad behavior from me LOL! Like I'm her mother or something. Anyway, it's usually the same two things she does in these dreams: 1. She gets back together with my abusive alcoholic stepfather (she left him when I was 16 and was officially divorced about two years later. I'm about to be 42 next month, yet, the most recent occurrence of this dream happened just weeks ago). And 2. She starts smoking again.
I guess of all of the things my mom has done in her life, those are the two things I judged her the hardest about. She was an alcoholic, too, but, I was so much younger when that was a real thing, and, it didn't affect or haunt me like her relationship choices and her smoking did. See, the guy she dated and lived with after my stepfather was also an abusive alcoholic. She's remained relatively single for most of her life after that second loser was deported, but she's had little guy friends here and there...and every single one of them sent up mucho red flags that she'd ignore until absolutely impossible to do so any longer.
As for her smoking, well, I blamed her smoking for my nearly losing one of my sons due to repeated respiratory infections, and for my having to move out on my own way sooner than I was ready to, at 23 with two kids that I desperately wanted to keep alive.
From reading the last sentence it might sound like I resent my mom or something, but I actually don't. I mean, I did, yeah, for years, but then I got saved so...😊 It really was for the best that I moved out when I did, or I may not have been able to figure out how to live independently. And, I haven't had any real beef with my mom since my late 20's. I wholeheartedly forgave her.
So that's it for me. If you care to share, I'd love to know if you have any recurring dreams yourself, and if you've figured out what they might be saying about your subconscious thoughts and whatnots :).
Until next time, be blessed!
XOXOXO - Jess
My mom was in the hospital recovering from cancer surgery. When I got to her room she looked anxious and tense, her eyes bulging. She kept saying she needed to get home over and over again. I told her she couldn't go home yet because she couldn't be alone while in recovery. She kept insisting that she'd be fine, that she just needed to be home. I sat next to her and tried to calm her down, took her hand and asked her what was going on, and what was the urgency? She finally calmed down a bit and said to me, "I didn't want to tell you that I'm having withdrawal symptoms. I'm sorry." I immediately tried to comfort her and tell her she had nothing to be ashamed of, that it was probably due to the treatments and surgery she underwent, but then it hit me: what I'd just said didn't make any sense - and neither did what she said, at least not to me - and then suddenly I perceived the faintest odor of cigarette smoke. When these thoughts occurred and I smelled the odor, I wasn't quite looking at my mom - but then I did, and then my eyes started to bulge. "You're SMOKING again?! After all of this, you're SMOKING again?!"
Then I woke up.
So much of this dream, I'm sure, is influenced by my waking life because - and, I haven't shared this with you yet - my mom just had a bilateral mastectomy after undergoing several months of intense chemotherapy. She is now cancer free and recovering from the surgery she had just last week. She used to be a smoker, but as far as I know, she hasn't smoked in years.
I've had so many dreams as an adult where I've confronted my mom about hiding bad behavior from me - it's so funny that I have repeated dreams of my mom hiding bad behavior from me LOL! Like I'm her mother or something. Anyway, it's usually the same two things she does in these dreams: 1. She gets back together with my abusive alcoholic stepfather (she left him when I was 16 and was officially divorced about two years later. I'm about to be 42 next month, yet, the most recent occurrence of this dream happened just weeks ago). And 2. She starts smoking again.
I guess of all of the things my mom has done in her life, those are the two things I judged her the hardest about. She was an alcoholic, too, but, I was so much younger when that was a real thing, and, it didn't affect or haunt me like her relationship choices and her smoking did. See, the guy she dated and lived with after my stepfather was also an abusive alcoholic. She's remained relatively single for most of her life after that second loser was deported, but she's had little guy friends here and there...and every single one of them sent up mucho red flags that she'd ignore until absolutely impossible to do so any longer.
As for her smoking, well, I blamed her smoking for my nearly losing one of my sons due to repeated respiratory infections, and for my having to move out on my own way sooner than I was ready to, at 23 with two kids that I desperately wanted to keep alive.
From reading the last sentence it might sound like I resent my mom or something, but I actually don't. I mean, I did, yeah, for years, but then I got saved so...😊 It really was for the best that I moved out when I did, or I may not have been able to figure out how to live independently. And, I haven't had any real beef with my mom since my late 20's. I wholeheartedly forgave her.
So that's it for me. If you care to share, I'd love to know if you have any recurring dreams yourself, and if you've figured out what they might be saying about your subconscious thoughts and whatnots :).
Until next time, be blessed!
XOXOXO - Jess
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